Consistency: Learning To Take Up Space
Showing up is often talked about as a simple act, something that comes down to discipline or routine, but for me, showing up has meant something much deeper. It has meant choosing to be seen in spaces where I don’t always feel like I fit the expected version of what that should look or sound like.
One of the most real examples of that has been showing up on YouTube. Speaking on video is not just about sharing a message — it’s about being heard in a way that feels exposed. My voice sounds different than what people are used to. It’s not polished in the way traditional content might be. There are moments when I am very aware of that difference, moments when it would be easier to step back, stay behind the scenes, or not press record at all.
There is something I have never really said out loud.
When I watch myself practice speaking a keynote in the mirror or play back a video I recorded for YouTube, I don't always see confidence. Sometimes I see someone who looks different. Someone whose movements don't match what people expect. Someone whose facial expressions and mannerisms are just plain ugly. I’m not going to lie, on my hardest days, those thoughts in my head.
Those are difficult words to write, but they are honest ones.
There have been moments when I have finished recording a video and questioned whether I should even post it. I have watched myself back and thought, Who wants to watch that? Not because I don't believe in the message, but because I have worried about how people might judge the messenger.
Living with a disability means that sometimes the world notices your differences before it notices anything else. People may see the way you move, hear the way you speak, or focus on what makes you different instead of what you have to say. When you spend enough time navigating a world that wasn't built with you in mind, it can be easy to start viewing yourself through that same lens.
Then I remind myself of something important: I am not here to be perfect. I am here to be real.
Underneath every movement that looks different, underneath every sound in my voice that doesn't fit the mold, underneath every insecurity I carry, there is still me. They are my words, my experiences, my opinions, my values, and my story.
And those things matter.
They matter because someone out there may need to hear them. They matter because my worth was never meant to be measured by how closely I resemble everyone else. They matter because being different does not make me less valuable. They matter because I have insights that can help change the world — whether through one voice, one idea that creates a more inclusive space, or even a message printed on a shirt.
So I keep pressing record.
Not because I have conquered every insecurity, but because I refuse to let those insecurities silence a voice that has something worth saying.
I've come to understand that showing up in those moments is not just about me. It's about shifting what people expect to see and hear. It's about allowing something different to exist in spaces where it isn't always represented. Every time I show up on video, I am choosing to be visible in a way that challenges the idea that there is only one way to communicate, one way to present yourself, or one way to be accepted.
I felt that same thing in June when I delivered a live workshop.
It was hard.
There is a different kind of pressure when you are live. There is no editing, no retakes, and no opportunity to step away. It is just you, showing up exactly as you are.
Yes, it would have been easier to avoid that experience altogether and let Jen do it all. But then I found myself asking, where is my representation in that?
For much of my life, I was the person in the background. I was the one creating the video presentation to show my creative side. I was the person using the chat box during Zoom calls instead of turning on my camera and speaking up. I was more comfortable sending a text message than making a phone call. Somewhere along the way, staying in the background became familiar.
Part of that was my personality. Part of it was convenience. But if I'm being completely honest, part of it was fear. Fear of being judged. Fear of being misunderstood. Fear of people focusing on how I looked or sounded instead of what I had to say.
But I'm done with that.
I'm tired of hiding behind the camera, behind the stage, and behind the idea that someone else can do it better. I'm tired of waiting until I feel more comfortable, more confident, or more acceptable before allowing myself to be seen.
I am ready to show to world who Patricia Ferreira truly is. I am ready for people to see my quirky facial expressions and hear the way I pronounce certain sounds differently. I am ready for people to meet the real person behind the words, the ideas, and the work.
I do this not because it feels comfortable, but because I refuse to spend any more of my life with my head down and my earphones on just so people won’t notice me.
Showing up doesn't happen in one moment. It happens through repetition. It happens every time I press record. Every time I speak at an event. Every time I share an opinion. Every time I choose visibility over fear. This consistency can build something bigger than me, something beautiful.
For me, showing up on YouTube, or leading a workshop, or doing virtual meetings with the camera on hasn't been about doing it perfectly. It has been about doing it honestly. It has been about allowing myself to take up space exactly as I am, even when that looks or sounds different.
The more I show up, the more normal it becomes for people to see someone like me taking up space. Change happens when visibility becomes ordinary rather than exceptional.
The more I show up, the more I hope others see that they don't need to wait until they feel perfect, polished, or accepted before they take up space either. And that, to me, is what makes showing up worth it.
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