Stepping Into the Sun Shouldn’t Come with Conditions
For many people, stepping into the sun feels simple. It looks like making plans, changing your mind, or saying yes to something unexpected. It is part of how people move through their lives without needing to think twice. For me, it is not that simple.
Before I decide what my day will look like, there is something else I always have to consider — my home care.
Home care is meant to support independence, and in many ways, it does. It helps me navigate my day-to-day life and gives me the assistance I need, but it also comes with structure and expectations that do not always leave room for flexibility. I understand the need for structure — they are a business and must have consistent hours for their employees. I just wish they understood that life does not always follow a set schedule.
There are times when opportunities come up unexpectedly. There are moments when I want to make a last-minute plan or stay somewhere longer than I had planned. There are days when I simply want to live my life as it unfolds, the same way others do.
There have been times when I have canceled my home care — for things like spending time with people, attending something meaningful, or just living my life. There are also times when I need to cancel because of my work. As someone building a business, there are moments when I have to show up for an event, opportunity, or commitment that is part of my livelihood. That, too, is part of living a full and meaningful life.
Recently, I was somewhat “talked to” about canceling too much, and it scared me. Would they cancel my service? Remove my supper bookings or weekend support?
For a few months after that, I noticed changes in myself. I stopped going to my sister’s on weekends. I avoided going shopping with her in case we stayed out too long and I missed my supper booking. I started to feel distant, a little disconnected, a little stuck in “blah.” I realized I was letting fear control me — and it was a fear that should not have been there in the first place.
Being told I was canceling too much created the feeling that choosing to live my life outside of a schedule was somehow wrong. It felt like I had to choose between receiving support and having a social life — or even showing up for my own work and that is a difficult space to sit in.
Because those moments are not about avoiding support. They are not about care not being needed. They are about wanting the same freedom that others have — to make decisions in real time, to embrace opportunities, and to live fully.
People with disabilities should not have to choose between having support and having a life.
We should not feel guilt for saying yes to something that brings us joy, connection, purpose, or a sense of belonging. Flexibility should not be something we have to fight for; it should be part of what support looks like.
Stepping into the sun should not feel like stepping outside of what is allowed. It should feel natural — not something that comes with hesitation or second-guessing.
This is not about placing blame. It is about recognizing that the way systems are structured does not always reflect how people actually live.
Real life includes change. It includes unpredictability. It includes moments that cannot always be planned in advance. True support should be able to hold space for that.
This month, “Stepping Into the Sun” means choosing to live my life more fully, even when it feels complicated. It means continuing to move forward, even when the systems around me are still catching up.
Because at the end of the day, stepping into the sun is not about doing something extraordinary. It is about being able to live — freely and fully — like everyone else.
Disclaimer - The Ability Company
The opinions shared in our blogs reflect personal experiences and viewpoints. They’re not meant to represent every journey or replace professional advice.
This content is for informational purposes only and does not replace professional advice. The Ability Company makes no guarantees about accuracy or completeness and is not liable for decisions made based on this content. Use at your own discretion.
